Shy Girl Speaks

I had been telling a friend for some time that his negative views on himself were very, well, one-sided. They were his view only and I doubt anyone really sees him the way he sees himself. However, I have a story about myself that kind of shows how this type of thinking works and how it is WRONG.

Over the past two weeks, my skin has been horribly broken out. My guess is that it's a combination of using the wrong facial cleanser, hormones, and stress. Anyhow, I've been on a work leave during these two weeks. Today (errr technically yesterday) was my first day back on the job. I was feeling pretty horrible about my skin especially since all the spots are the brightest red a spot could be.

Other than the skin thing, I was thrilled to be back at work. It was great to see humanity again and people I knew. Also, shortly after starting at work I had to play this quiz game and won a hat from it. They are pretty much the ONLY hats that employees are allowed to wear at work and few employees have one, so it was nice to get that.

It also felt really good to talk with customers and I was just generally really happy to be there. I must have been projecting this happiness outwardly quite a bit as three customers said something to me today. The first customer probably amused me the most. I made a point to remember this because, as it was kind of odd, it made me feel REALLY good. When he got to the line he said something about my smile and then said, "And you're pretty. Very pretty. Your boyfriend should hold onto you. You got a lot to play with. Don't play too hard."

Yeah, I said it was strange, but it DID make me feel really good. Shortly after that another customer comes to the line and he said that I had a great smile. I just smiled at him and continued to work while I talked. He then said, "And a great personality to match!" And jokingly I said, "You should tell my manager!" And he said, "Where is he?" I then, of course, told him I was kidding. After the comment from the first customer and then this comment which came within minutes of the other customer, I was feeling pretty stellar.

As it was my first day back, they were unsure of my ability to work so they'd hired extra help. Because of this, they didn't particularly need me to come in today. Thus, I didn't have to cashier, but did extra things such as sweeping the vestibule and covering breaks. After lunch I asked the manager if I could push carts. The weather was nice for the first time and I'd not spent any significant time outside in a long time. By this time I'd received my hat and was feeling good from those two comments. While I was out getting carts, two men in white shirts were walking into the store and one shouts to me, "You're beautiful." I replied with a simple thank you. The other man scolded him with something like, "You can't say that stuff to people." To which he replied, "Well! She is!" This last comment made me feel like really awesome.

So, I obviously don't think I'm wonderfully beautiful or anything. I think smiling, though, may have something to do with it. I think everyone looks at themselves in such an incredible harshness. There are times that you should just feel comfortable in your own skin. I think when you do that, when you start feeling good... you start projecting those good feelings onto others.